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xmas deccies
#1
Have you not heard that Winter Holiday decorations are not allowed in offices this year because they pose a serious H&S risk? I suggest that you get the guidelines on decorations from the HSE and follow them if you must put up decorations.

Cheers,
Eggbasket
Gentleman Adventurer and Antique

"All human endeavour is futile"
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#2
Oops, my bad. RoSPA not HSE.

http://www.worksmart.org.uk/officeparty/

Cheers,
Eggbasket
Gentleman Adventurer and Antique

"All human endeavour is futile"
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#3
Sounds like the RoSPA people have more fun at their office parties than we do!

Quote:quote:The same goes with most other office or workplace equipment from staple gun shoot outs, paper-opener sword fights to re-enacting the French Revolution with the office guillotine. It goes without saying that items of work equipment are not toys, but in drunken hands, even fairly innocuous devices can turn seriously dangerous.

Mattocks at dawn anyone?


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#4
reenacting the Battle of Trafalgar with hard hats in a flooded trench?

++ i spend my days rummaging around in dead people ++
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#5
Hmmmm. Risk assessment before puttin up deccies? What next?
But wait a minute...why is it deemed safe to allow a rather large bearded gentleman sporting a snazzy red suit to
1. break the speed limit all night
2. park a team of tethered quadrupeds and an overloaded sleigh on peoples rooves
3. come down peoples chimnies without as much as a confined space certificate and adequate protectionBig Grin
4. leave large quantities of paper-wrapped cardboard boxes everywhere and increasing the risk of fire
5. eat yer mince pies, drink more booze and then speed off into the night sky.
Why Santa should be shopped for shoddy standards and, reported to the HSE for sheer contempt? Anyone?Big Grin
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#6
I wouldn't like to confront him though, he may look nice and friendly but thats just an act, when I sat on his knee last week he said he knew I hadn't been a good girl this year and he was only going to bring me coal for my stocking![:0]
And he drinks too much and lord only knows whats in that pipe he smokes... The man sees flying reindeers... I'll let you work it out!Big Grin
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#7
Quote:quote:Originally posted by troll

Hmmmm. Risk assessment before puttin up deccies? What next?
But wait a minute...why is it deemed safe to allow a rather large bearded gentleman sporting a snazzy red suit to
1. break the speed limit all night
2. park a team of tethered quadrupeds and an overloaded sleigh on peoples rooves
3. come down peoples chimnies without as much as a confined space certificate and adequate protectionBig Grin
4. leave large quantities of paper-wrapped cardboard boxes everywhere and increasing the risk of fire
5. eat yer mince pies, drink more booze and then speed off into the night sky.
Why Santa should be shopped for shoddy standards and, reported to the HSE for sheer contempt? Anyone?Big Grin

My understanding is that the situation here is complicated.

In the first instance, Mr Claus does not appear to be a member of the IFA (Institute of Festive Aviators) and is not covered by their Code of Conduct (the so called Santa Clause). Infact he has been known to state categorically that as far as he is concerned there is no Santa Clause!!

Secondly, it has been reported that Mr Claus is in the habit of laying off his staff immediately before the Christmas break and avoids paying them the IFA minima for most of the following year. He claims he is able to do this as an exemption under the Employment Act 2002 because his staff are sELF-employed.

Thirdly, Mr Claus has asked for it to be made clear that he feels he is being misrepresented by a small clique of left-wing elves belonging to the SWP (Santa's Workers Party). Mr Claus would like to remind everyone that he took part in a large number of riotous Christmas parties of the early 1980s and has photo-copies of numerous body parts to prove it.

Fourthly, Mr Claus states that he has never been tempted to change a light bulb or instruct any member of his workforce to do so.

Finally Mr Claus would like to make it clear that the views expressed here are purely his own and not those of his employer, Father Christmas Ltd.

[:I]
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#8
Big GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig Grin
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#9
some of you lot have far too much time on your hands Big GrinBig Grin

++ i spend my days rummaging around in dead people ++
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#10
Very good. I like that the lightbulb clause is 'Claus Four' - perhaps it should be removed from future versions of the Santa Manifesto?
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