A Christmas Carol

[trowelhead]

Yes its that wonderful time of the year again, the mince pies are baking the Christmas tree is being decorated and all the little children are getting excited.

What a wonderful festive feeling, joy to all men and womenfolk...except us lot!

Whilst farther christmas gears up for another light speed trip around the world plenty of units big and small are getting all excited at the prospect of......... laying off there staff for the christmas period, oh the money they will save!

Eebenezer scrooge cometh and we are like a bunch of Tiny Tims lame, poor and despite the hardship we struggle through, must not grumble we say Mr Scrooge will have us back in the new year as he`s such a nice man and he treats us well as we are glad to have a job after all that is also our hobby I mean I know he`s gruff, rude, uncompromising and brutish but at least he`s fair... er I think.. well least thats what he tells me. And he gives us a christmas card each year and I say, tipping my hard hat, "why thank you Mr Scrooge what a very genourous man you are..." "Tis of no consequence my boy the card is the only thing I can find that keeps the P45 Flat."

3 ghosts from the IFA needed I fancy. Although theyd probably be as useful as a chocolate fire gaurd.

Merry Christmas to you all and I will see you down the Jobby.[xx(]

[achingknees]

Are you able to name names? I don't think that this has an AUP issue as we had a related thread recently. (That said, some diplomacy in any posts please!) How common is this practice?

[trowelhead]

Knees my old fruit this is common practise amongst casual worker folk and no in keeping with the slander issues of this site I will keep schtum! And as for diplomacy I take it you mean my reference to the IFA so ok not chocolate fire gaurd lets say about as useful as say..... er em how about "a barbers shop on the steps of the guilotine" WE want results my boy not idal chitter chatter and meetings that provide little in the way of results.

[achingknees]

quote:Originally posted by trowelhead

Knees my old fruit this is common practise amongst casual worker folk and no in keeping with the slander issues of this site I will keep schtum! And as for diplomacy I take it you mean my reference to the IFA so ok not chocolate fire gaurd lets say about as useful as say..... er em how about "a barbers shop on the steps of the guilotine" WE want results my boy not idal chitter chatter and meetings that provide little in the way of results.

As I said - we've already discussed a range of units' employment practises, both good and not so good. This forum is a great way of making units recognise good practise. The diplomacy wasn't an allusion to yourself, just a caution to others. Chit chat and meetings often work you know [:0] How did you know I was an old fruit and a boy?

[BAJR Host]

However you do have the potential to contact me off list... its amazing what happens when I check out things like this (and I do !)

email me on BAJR

then we can discuss.

Another day another WSI?

[deepdigger]

THE CHAV NATIVITY
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not
married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an'go dahn Bethlehem on that.
They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this
Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

APPY CRIMBO xxx


deep

[leg11aug]

In the spirit of the season.

tune of god rest ye merry gentlemen.

God rest ye merry excavators,
nothing you dismay.
We fear your Christmas break this year,
will not be marked by pay..
The Project Spec's just don't reflect,
your need of Christmas cheer..

Your contracts will be renewed next year,
Renewed next year..
Your contracts will be renewed next year.

Though fingers froze and frostbit toes
did drive you to despair,
Your need to eat cannot compete,
with budgetary woes..
Your valued skills are needed chums,
just sod off till '06 (has come..)

chorus

On Christmas night when money's tight,
remember that you chose..
Sporadic unemployment and fiscal ebbs and flows.
Your job is a vocation, you don't get
paid vacations..

chorus.

Employment rights are fine on site,
until the Yuletide nears..
For Santa Claus read Contract Clause and
mutter in your beer..
Accountants wrote your terms of work so
see you all next year..

Chorus.

One day there'll be a law they say,
to put an end to this..
Until such time employers are
free to take the p*ss.
Collect your papers, don't be sore,
We'll see you in '06..

Your Contract will be renewed next year'
Renewed next yearrrr..!
Your contract will be renewed next year.

Happy Christmas all.


Throwing in the trowel.

[rachstebbs]

Excellent, Think thats very clever, the sad thing is its true

[BAJR Host]

So off list please give me names of companies who are laying off and re-employing ....

Another day another WSI?

[deepdigger]

Well done!
Very clever Leggy!!
Hope you've got a copyright!!!

deep