6th March 2011, 03:01 PM
Hi all,
I'm not a regular on these pages by any means, but I just happened to be passing by and noticed this thread...
Speaking as a manic depressive, I have had a number of run-ins with deep depressions not directly (un)employment related, but all involving lack of self-esteem (by their nature). I have been lucky in never experiencing any stigma (although I am careful about who I admit things to), but I am aware that it is still out there; it's such a shame that things like this aren't spoken about more generally, afterall it is a bodily malfunction - noone would think twice about complaining that their knee didn't work properly, so why their moods? I would like to echo the supportive comments on this thread.
Above all, and I know this from experience, I would say that the worst thing you can do is ignore the situation: it is almost guaranteed to fester and get worse. With the added bonus that when work does come along, you will be in no fit state to do it!
Without meaning to sound patronising, changes of circumstances sometimes turn out to be opportunities in disguise (although that's probably a really unhelpful thing to hear right now).
Apart from all the good ideas mentioned already about GPs, friends, counselling etc there are a couple of practical things I can think of which I find help on a day to day basis in the meantime; I am slowly getting the hang of admitting when I begin to feel low, and (after much dismissing this kind of thing as fussing) learning to look after myself and I have found it really helps... and they all have a good body of scientific research behind them if you need convincing!
1) Sunshine. Admittedly you don't have that much control over this, but daylight in general is better than nothing. Go out and walk around, sit on a park bench, sit on the door step if nothing else.
2) Excercise. This is the most difficult to do when you feel down, but is really effective. Make yourself go out for a walk each day (and get the sunlight at the same time!), go to the shops for a pint of milk, that kind of thing. If necessary, arrange as many appointments as you can with various people (even if this means the dentist!!) first thing in the morning as this forces you to get up and out.
3) Eat well. Everyone is bored of hearing this, but it has an amazing effect on your mood. And make sure you eat - it is waaay too easy to feel like you can't be bothered/it isn't worth having lunch! And yes, (I think someone said this already), lay off the alcohol!
4) Get regular sleep. Don't stay up late fretting or lie in late in the morning because it's not worth getting up. Again, hard to do. The fresh air and exercise comes in handy here.
5) Don't let you mind get stuck in a cycle of constantly going over negatives. Ok, this can't be done completely, but at least try and keep it distracted - avoid the sitting hunched in the corner of the settee staring into space with no inclination to do anything!! On days when I can't get out of bed, I go for audio books and kids stories; I find I can't concentrate to read, so I go for something straight forward that is being read to me - Harry Potter is perfect for this, although I can see not everyone might appreciate it ;-)
6) Allow yourself to feel like you have achieved something when you have done each little thing. I don't really go in for the whole awarding yourself gold stars for managing to get dressed type approach, but if you are ill (even if it is only a mild 'under the weather' depression), why would you expect yourself to come up to your normal standards?? You would cut yourself some slack if you had flu. This, of course, is difficult!!
I should say that I am also on various happy-making pills, but they don't work if you don't look after yourself as well!
One more thing -- this is a funny thing to say, but depression has it's positive sides too (generally once you're out the other side, of course!). I think it has made me much more empathetic and more observant about people and situations.
I'm sorry if this sounds at all preachy or patronising (and I didn't mean to go on for so long), but I have been on quite close terms with depression before -- I live in fear of it striking again, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Hope some of it is useful.
H
I'm not a regular on these pages by any means, but I just happened to be passing by and noticed this thread...
Speaking as a manic depressive, I have had a number of run-ins with deep depressions not directly (un)employment related, but all involving lack of self-esteem (by their nature). I have been lucky in never experiencing any stigma (although I am careful about who I admit things to), but I am aware that it is still out there; it's such a shame that things like this aren't spoken about more generally, afterall it is a bodily malfunction - noone would think twice about complaining that their knee didn't work properly, so why their moods? I would like to echo the supportive comments on this thread.
Above all, and I know this from experience, I would say that the worst thing you can do is ignore the situation: it is almost guaranteed to fester and get worse. With the added bonus that when work does come along, you will be in no fit state to do it!
Without meaning to sound patronising, changes of circumstances sometimes turn out to be opportunities in disguise (although that's probably a really unhelpful thing to hear right now).
Apart from all the good ideas mentioned already about GPs, friends, counselling etc there are a couple of practical things I can think of which I find help on a day to day basis in the meantime; I am slowly getting the hang of admitting when I begin to feel low, and (after much dismissing this kind of thing as fussing) learning to look after myself and I have found it really helps... and they all have a good body of scientific research behind them if you need convincing!
1) Sunshine. Admittedly you don't have that much control over this, but daylight in general is better than nothing. Go out and walk around, sit on a park bench, sit on the door step if nothing else.
2) Excercise. This is the most difficult to do when you feel down, but is really effective. Make yourself go out for a walk each day (and get the sunlight at the same time!), go to the shops for a pint of milk, that kind of thing. If necessary, arrange as many appointments as you can with various people (even if this means the dentist!!) first thing in the morning as this forces you to get up and out.
3) Eat well. Everyone is bored of hearing this, but it has an amazing effect on your mood. And make sure you eat - it is waaay too easy to feel like you can't be bothered/it isn't worth having lunch! And yes, (I think someone said this already), lay off the alcohol!
4) Get regular sleep. Don't stay up late fretting or lie in late in the morning because it's not worth getting up. Again, hard to do. The fresh air and exercise comes in handy here.
5) Don't let you mind get stuck in a cycle of constantly going over negatives. Ok, this can't be done completely, but at least try and keep it distracted - avoid the sitting hunched in the corner of the settee staring into space with no inclination to do anything!! On days when I can't get out of bed, I go for audio books and kids stories; I find I can't concentrate to read, so I go for something straight forward that is being read to me - Harry Potter is perfect for this, although I can see not everyone might appreciate it ;-)
6) Allow yourself to feel like you have achieved something when you have done each little thing. I don't really go in for the whole awarding yourself gold stars for managing to get dressed type approach, but if you are ill (even if it is only a mild 'under the weather' depression), why would you expect yourself to come up to your normal standards?? You would cut yourself some slack if you had flu. This, of course, is difficult!!
I should say that I am also on various happy-making pills, but they don't work if you don't look after yourself as well!
One more thing -- this is a funny thing to say, but depression has it's positive sides too (generally once you're out the other side, of course!). I think it has made me much more empathetic and more observant about people and situations.
I'm sorry if this sounds at all preachy or patronising (and I didn't mean to go on for so long), but I have been on quite close terms with depression before -- I live in fear of it striking again, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Hope some of it is useful.
H