Giving your all

[eggbasket]

We are always being asked to give 100% and sometimes more, so, to make ourselves more efficient, we need to analyse what this actually means. So, what makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

Have you ever been to one of those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If the numbers of the alphabet are assigned a numerical value equal to their order in the alphabet such that A=1 and Z=26
Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you (although, why you would want to kiss a donkey is beyond me).

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there,
it's the Bull**** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Of course, since the ideal is to give 110% then the best route is:
IMITATION
9+13+9+20+1+20+9+15+14 = 110%

So, copy your boss and you should go far; dress like them, talk like them and have your hair done like them!!!!!

Further research has shown that LAZINESS (= 105%) works, while mere IDLENESS (= 88%) is not enough and being WORKSHY (= 111%) is a definite advantage.


Cheers,
Eggbasket
Gentleman Adventurer and Periphrastic Sesquipedalian

Preternatural eventuation is an amaranthine potentiality

[Cautionary Tale]

On that basis I would much more prefer to be a Field Archaeologist (159%) than a Digger (50%). Consultants as normal appear to get off lightly (139%)

[Sith]

quote:Originally posted by Barnesy

On that basis I would much more prefer to be a Field Archaeologist (159%) than a Digger (50%). Consultants as normal appear to get off lightly (139%)

I beg to differ. Once the figures for the other two have passed through the consultants hands, they should be more fairly distributed thus:

Consultant: 223%
Field Archaeologist: 100%
Digger: 25%

D. Vader
Senior Consultant

Vader Maull & Palpatine
Archaeological Consultants

Not just there for the rotten things in life like a blocked wormhole

[Cautionary Tale]

I see we both know better than to fit curators into the equation....B)

[eggbasket]

Hey, Sith, that Value Engineering really works a treat, doesn't it?

Cheers,
Eggbasket
Gentleman Adventurer and Periphrastic Sesquipedalian

Preternatural eventuation is an amaranthine potentiality

[Curator Kid]

Huh! Even working with your fiddled consultancy figures, County Archaeologist comes out at 231%. As usual, we're way ahead of you lot.

[judy]

We have a say in Arabic (if the house keeper is a musician, would it surprise you if all the roommates are dancers?), so if Project Manager Level and Supervisor Level are this way God help us all.