11th March 2009, 07:12 PM
Farmer Palmer was overseeing his herd in a remote hillside pasture in Staffordshire, when suddenly a brand new Range Rover advanced towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer "if I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Palmer looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Blackberry, and surfs to a page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full colours 150 page report on his high-tech miniaturised HP Laserjet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves" says Dan.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the Range Rover.
Then farmer Palmer says to the young man "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second then says "OK why not?"
"You work for DEFRA"
"Wow! That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are and you don't know a thing about cows.......this is a herd of sheep.....now give me back my dog."
Website for responsible Metal Detecting
http://www.ukdfd.co.uk
Recording Our Heritage For Future Generations.
Palmer looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Blackberry, and surfs to a page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full colours 150 page report on his high-tech miniaturised HP Laserjet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves" says Dan.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the Range Rover.
Then farmer Palmer says to the young man "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second then says "OK why not?"
"You work for DEFRA"
"Wow! That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are and you don't know a thing about cows.......this is a herd of sheep.....now give me back my dog."
Website for responsible Metal Detecting
http://www.ukdfd.co.uk
Recording Our Heritage For Future Generations.
and Gary was going to... but I like it jsut the way it is... and let the mind do the word swaps... ... v funny!
![[Image: 3334488270_7156e71b8b_t.jpg]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3405/3334488270_7156e71b8b_t.jpg)