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Black Dog - my life is in ruins
#51
lets try and keep this thread serious so as not to put other folk off please.....Depression in any guise is not a laughing matter sadly
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#52
Thanks for that boxoffrogs :face-approve:
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#53
Something else I thought of, which may sound silly, but if you are depressed and especially if this is coupled with anxiety then really consider the amount of coffee/tea/cola you are drinking. In retrospect a good part of my problem, possibly even a major part of it - the 'mad' feeling - was that my intake of coffee also grew out of proportion (from 2 - 3 mugs of almost expresso strength coffee a day to 6+). At first I liked the extra buzz/giddiness/lift it gave me but, well, I guess it was a proper addiction! There is actually something called 'caffeine psychosis' / 'caffeine induced psychosis' which I really really wish I had known about at the time - [url=http://www.stress-anxiety-depression.org/forum/caffeine-induced-psychosis-topic-70.htmls][/url][I put a link here but it didn't work - you'll just have to google for it!]

Now I still use coffee as a drug, like a lot of the population I can't function without coffee in the morning and it's still funny to drink too much occaisionally, but I have a lot more respect for it's powers!
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#54
During my run in with the black dog, I was also warned against caffeine or other stimulants. There can be an element of chemical imbalance to depression, which makes those affected more susceptible to over-reacting to external chemical substances. Effects can be exaggerated or unpredictable and aren't likely to make life better. Keep food and drink as simple and unprocessed as possible.

Sounds daft, but getting your five-a-day can really make a difference. If nothing else, you can take satisfaction in gaining control of eating habits and any positive step in that direction is helpful.
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#55
Depression is a hidden illness indeed. I am happy to admit that I went down that road some years back now. A sudden closing in of everything, and a bleaker outlook became worse and worse until a breakdown. In the end what helped was support - pills from the doctor (which gave space to get life in perspective) and a determination. The pills I did not like much.. happy pills I called them... but they gave me enough space to get out the house.

The secret is within yourself. Drinking and drugs as has been said, does nothing other than make it worse. honestly. And a cheery snap out of it does not work either. What does? Will depend on you. If you can trace the source of it... then you have the power to deal with it. Sometimes of course you just don't know. But in the end change is what is needed. Change of town...change of job... change of partner... change of lifestyle. it is often one of those. I suspect many of us in archaeology have suffered it, and suffered it in silence or embarrassment, as if we have somehow let the side down... Well, perhaps we could be more supportive of each other. and I think this thread has been perhaps useful in bring it out. There is no shame in suffering from depression.
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#56
There is no shame at all connected with depression, I quite agree; but somehow it does make one feel ashamed.

That's a hard feeling to get over as is the feeling of worthlessness. So many things can bring you down and I think that in this climate ones colleagues - even friends - feel just as threatened as you but it can translate into a negative competitiveness. I think I am suffering from some of that at the moment. The axe is hovering and everyone else seems to be "pushing" others in it's way. Not a nice feeling and frankly not a nice way to behave.

Nor is being smug. I have a touch of the Bridget Jones "smug marrieds"...smug supervisors, smug POs and smug managers ought to be a little more sympathetic and a little more careful in my view. If there's no one digging the stuff up, there's no one to supervise/manage, no reports to write and no publications to get your name on the front of.

So, suddenly, what is the purpose of a commercial archaeological company I wonder? Can it survive on Outreach and delayed report publications? Only for a short time...then the draughtiness left by the lack of diggers may lead to a wind of necessary change.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Merlot in one hand, Cigar in the other; body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!
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#57
No shame at all. I kept a diary during my last bout of depression. Every now and again I re-read it, just to remind myself of how nasty an experience depression can be. I don't have a problem sharing those experiences, as long as those experiences don't become or appear to be used as a crutch. Depression is aweful enough, even worse is not doing anything about it. I am empathetic, sympathetic and can lend an ear to bend, yet I encourage anyone who thinks, feels or are concerned about depression to get assistance. Having the right sort of support network is incredibly helpful but this doesn't replace people who are trained to help.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
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#58
Ho Hum another Monday crashes into view with nil respite. The sun shines and the birds sing, yet I can find no joy in it at all. Gardening was my pleasure outside of my profession, now I can not bare to see the empty ground for I have no urge to do anything about it. I have plant books piling up yet I can barely pick them up to read them, much less even order anything. I have zero money having now been out of work for over 182 days so the DWP informed me in the post this morning......My life is slowly falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it. All the 'stuff' I have gathered together to prove I have 'arrived' counts for nought. It will soon be in the hands of the debt collectors so why care?

All these thoughts have run their course through my head, yet I WILL NOT BE BEATEN by them. I have my life yet to live, I know not what or where but it will be lived. I have dreams of a future and I intend to keep them alive. One day soon I will make them real, I just need a job.......
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