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+--- Thread: donations-101 hints for trenchies (/showthread.php?tid=1828)
donations-101 hints for trenchies - Troll - 4th February 2005
Come on you lot, giz all your tips/hints/shortcuts and survival techniques for new diggers... heres two to start off with..
1. buy crap thermal hat for 99pence.take scissors and cut top off.put on yed and pull round neck than tuck in.Toasty warm.
2. When blade falls out of nice WHS (work hard and starve) trowel handle, pour superglue in hole shove sand/silt in hole,shove blade in, pour in more glue then more sand.Finally, visit hospital to get said trowel removed from fingers.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - sniper - 4th February 2005
3. leftover nipple clamps are good for holding tapes.
4. Do not ever lend anything to anybody if you ever wish to see it again in this lifetime.
5. do not ever under any circumstances kneel on a pointy rock
6. perfect the art of looking like you are doing something whenever a supervisor walks by
7. wave goodbye to your knuckles, they will be leaving on the first wall they see.
++ i spend my days rummaging around in dead people ++
donations-101 hints for trenchies - troll - 4th February 2005
8.Avoid fallin in holes-tends to produce hilarity as opposed to an emergency response
9.Quickly become adept at the portaloo "hover"
10.remove hard-hat before drawing delicate section
11.unless you want boots full of crud, stop tuckin trousers into riggers
12.trowel holsters are not big and they`re not clever
13.do not immediately assume that someone wearing a three -foot length of coloured material tied in a knot around their throat are clever,it restricts the flow of blood to the brain
14. the phrase"that will do" is not allowed, neither is"oops", "it was there-honest" or "he told me to"....
donations-101 hints for trenchies - sniper - 4th February 2005
15. the sure fire way to find the most important, rare and complete artefact on the whole site is to hit it with a mattock/shovel/machine.
16.do not attempt to prise out that innocent small stone from your nicely cleaned section, it is liable to be 2 foot wide, and 3 foot long.
17. please try to remember, flint is sharp, no matter how long its been sat there.
18. that nice pointy copper alloy pin will only make itself known when it implants itself in your finger/knee/bum
++ i spend my days rummaging around in dead people ++
donations-101 hints for trenchies - charlie farnsbarnes - 6th February 2005
19. the most interesting feature on any site is always half covered by the spoil heap.
20. not only is the most interestin feature on site half covered by the spoil heap, but you only notice it on the last day, when you're packing up and the developer is poised with massed JCBs to take the site down to bedrock.
21. on the last day of the site, when you're trying to shift the spoil heap to excavate the most interesting feature, and the devloper is poised with massed JCBs to take the site down to bedrock, it will start to snow.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - Oxbeast - 7th February 2005
make sure you have enough tea, GOOD biscuits (this can't be stressed enough), and fags.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - Pedant - 8th February 2005
Nobody will question what you're doing if you're carrying a clipboard.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - the invisible man - 8th February 2005
Do not try to impress the students by baton twirling with a steel grid peg, especially if you cannot in fact baton twirl. Stabbing yourself in the side does not look cool and carries a tetanus risk.
Do not purchase magnetic GB stickers for Land Rovers.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - Sparky - 8th February 2005
Pointing at features in the ground or on the landscape is an effective way of people thinking you know what you are talking about. This is particularly effective when at a distance from your superiors. This is even more effective when at a distance from your superiors and pointing at absolute ****e while having a chat to your work mates, probably about ****e too.
donations-101 hints for trenchies - Alfie - 8th February 2005
If you drop your trowel down an over full portaloo DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RETRIEVE IT. The lower flap can become wedged open, but the slightest movement will make it spring up. Trowels are cheap compared to counselling.