on-site archaeological services

[Troll]

A new company is about to launch- promising to exploit a niche in commercial archaeology. One service will see tea, coffee and light snacks wheeled to your trench-side. Coffee Sir/Madam? Would you like a context sheet and a biscuit with that? Small find number and a pastry? Would you care for a foot massage or have me polish your helmet?

What on-site service would you like to see introduced? We aim to please...(keep it non-biological you lot!)

1. You look tired and fed up-can I produce your matrix for you?
2. That`s a lot of wet mud, here, hold this hot chocolate whilst I clean up for you...
3. Thats a terrible case of terettes and diahorreahoa sir, here, let me roll you a fag while you stroll off and break things in the padded stress room..

[deepdigger]

1. here is the little t**t who suggested digging this, would you like me to hold him for you sir while you kick him a bit?
2.how about someone to turn up on your site early in the morning to bail out the water from your trench?
3.or somebody to turn up from time to time and offer you a decent longterm job.
that'll be the day.

deep

[drpeterwardle]

At thwing we had the local WI arriving at the trench side, 100m X 100m with hot breakfasts, lunches etc at a very reasonable price.

At GGAT there was a similar service provided by somebody who was enterprising.

Later at GGAt we had a van arrive at the site selling bacon butties and burgers which replaced the previous person who sold us day old cakes and sandwiches cheap.

When I dug near Edinburgh there was a van selling bacon rolls for 50p
just 300m away.

When I was a proper archaeologist I always made sure that food could be purchased easily.

Peter

[Digger]

In Oz they have 'Tuck trucks', ususally driven by a sweet young thing or a hard old girl who knows more blue jokes than you do. Sell hot pies, sausage rolls, sandwiches, chocs, crisps, milk, soft drinks and some times cigs.
Still, someone who will hold the daft sod who told you to dig that so as to give him a damn good thrashing does sound inviting.

[the invisible man]

Exactly how trenchside is trenchside? I'm thinking insurances, HSE and all that stuff here... plus a vision of Doris and her tea trolley toppling gracefully (or not) into the trench... carefuly cleaned section trashed, tea and coffee swimming around in the newly dug posthole, jaffa cakes geting in the samples......

I suppose it would have to be a 4x4 tea trolley anyway.

[BAJR Host]

On this site in Yorkshire, on one of these long hot summers the director ordered up (and got) a fridge for the site hut, filled full of Lucozades and Ice creams... seen as part of the Health and Safety requirements. Stopping overheating (should that be eating!!) and kept liquid levels to required level. Developer had to pay.... Yummy

[Beki]

Oh my god that is class! I want!

What I want is for someone to mattock through bloody solid baked clay on a really hot day...or at least someone to sharpen said mattock that had become blunt due to years of mattocking through solid clay....

I was working on a site once that was right next to a little cafe that did full english brekky for £1....too tempting to resist that one...my excuse was that i would work it off as the day went on...

[Beardstroker]

Closest we've got to 1930's stylee archaeology-for-the-posh people recently was working in the grounds of a stately home who's owner was a member of the local archy society.

In exchange for allowing said owner and some of the other society members to help out on the dig, we got a two course sit down lunch everyday and tea and posh continental biscuits at tea break.

Archaeology wasn't bad either, although a little Post Med for my taste:D

Downside of it was that you really had to limit your portion intake as mattocking on a very full stomach got quite painful.

Only thing on my wish list for making archaeological sites nicer places to work on, is that all clay type geology to be transfigured into either chalk or sand. I'm sure I can think of more though, given time.

[deepdigger]

I recently worked on a job for a women eho was doing book research, she had the local hotel bring tea down mid morning, lunch every day and more tea in the afternoon. first class.

deep

[disheartened]

they could have a button to change the weather! Rainy when you need to hide in the hut cos you just had to have that last pint the night before, or nice and sunny to top up the tan, with a few passing clouds to shade photographs, and the occasional shower to soften up the ground so that you don't break mattocks trying to get through rock hard clay...

[troll]

Can I warm that toilet seat for you sir? Would you like me to shield your eyes from the monsters lurking beneath whilst you wee sir? Shall I bring you a waterproof context sheet Madam? (why has`nt this been invented?)
Mop your sweaty brow? Foot massage? Replace the skin on yer knuckles matey? Maybe we should all have sponsors on site? "BASH N FIND ARCHAEOLOGY" kindly sponsored by cadburys chocolate or by some really warm underwear producer! How about "sponsored by hammocks are us ltd" ???[8D]

[deepdigger]

Bash it and scarper archaeology sponsered by nike
newport boat dig sponsered by helly henson
excessivley deep trenches sponsered by british coal
anything by time team sponsered by max factor (because tony's worth it)


deep

[Beki]

thats l'oreal mate!

how about an inflatable pub for when you're digging in the middle of no-where?...i know these things exhist cos there's a website about them...and inflatable churches..

[deepdigger]

Whoops sorry Beki. as you can see makeup is not one of my better points!

deep

[lucy78green]

I once worked with a bloke who refused to wear sunscreen on the grounds that it was makeup....

Lucy

[troll]

keep it coming you lot-think Ive just wee`d myself!!!:D...

[deepdigger]

I generally don't use sunblock! but then i dont strip down when i'm working either. and i always keep my hat on baby!

deep

[Beki]

I think sunblock is fun! especialy the multi-coloured type!

Now having some undersressed men to rub the sun cream on would be nice....

[deepdigger]

At your service ma'am!

deep

[troll]

Remind me, how did this thread come to this....:D

[Beki]

Woo hoo! All i need now is another bloke to peel me grapes and fan me with giant leaves while I put a section through a nice ditch and i'll be sorted!

[troll]

tiz best to use a cream on yer grapes-not ave em peeled....

[deepdigger]

preperation h i think Troll!
i hope you're not suggesting that our young lady friend has botty problems?

deep

[Beki]

tut...how dare ye! I mean them grapes you eat..:D

[Digger]

In this country when the sun comes out, the shirt comes off. Sun sreen, whats that? Spoken from the guy who was born in the country with the highest skin cancer rate in the world. In Oz sunscreen is a legitimate business/tax deduction. Not sure if grapes are though Beki.

[deepdigger]

Ah! but can you claim your medical expenses if you need to get your botty grapes done?

deep

[Beki]

Muah ha...ok then..lets just forget grapes! how about i have someone to peel my banana's for me eh?

[sniper]

you do keep picking amusing fruit varieties...

++ i spend my days rummaging around in dead people ++

[deepdigger]

Quite Beki, i'd peel your banana any day;)

deep